It was the final periods of our days in school; preparations for our final exams were on, and everybody was becoming so serious for my liking. Sometimes you joke with a friend in school and they only end up reminding you about the upcoming exam. I knew the exams were around the corner, but it didn’t deserve so much of my attention. I always knew that once there is a will, there will be a way. My hommies too were not also scared of the waec exam, so they gave me the needed confidence I needed.
“WAEC na small pikin exam” Onyema shouted.
“School dull, where we fit go” Igwe asked
“Make we go mammy” Uche added.
“Wetin they happen for mammy” I asked them confused. They laughed at my ignorance despite I was claiming I was the most exposed person among them. They explained to me that “mammy” was a market area in the barracks and many activities were going on there, both legal and illegal.
“If I reach, I no go fvck o… because I know say na your plan” Igwe said while at Onyema. I paid attention but didn’t ask much question so as to avoid them laughing at me. We alerted some other guys as we discussed how to leave school illegally. We always came to school with some mufti wear in case of an emergency like this.
“We have to jump fence o…” Magbo said
“Jump what” Onyema shouted while pulling off his shirt and revealing the various designs on his back as a result of the lashes of koboko he received the other day.
“Na only you dey flog” Igwe asked angrily while also showing his. For real, there back was not a good sight at all. After much pressure, we decided to jump the school fence into the officers’ quarters and find our way to mammy. We took numbers to avoid using our real name, and we went close to the school fence.
“After the first person jumps, we will give you 6 seconds for you to scout the area and give us thumbs up, and we will start jumping in two’s” I said to them all. I chose number one, so I was actually talking to myself. I jumped and landed quietly, I scouted the area and saw some few dogs but I made sure I stayed out of their line of sight and I gave a clear area instruction to the rest, before the other two jumped and met me.
The others started jumping and they saw us kneeling down and pleading for mercy; some saw us while on air and the speed at which they landed and returned back into the school compound was alarming. While some saw us while they already landed and disappeared into thick air within split seconds. The drama they played out was too funny that we couldn’t hold our laughter again. They started peeping from various corners and saw us laughing before they started coming out again.
“Which kain rubbish be that na” Igwe shouted
“Una sabi fear o… so if to say they catch us true true, una for just run leave us”? Magbo asked while laughing.
“Na him say make we do am” Kenneth said while pointing at me. We laughed over the scenario while we hid from bush to bush inside the officers’ quarters till we found our way to mammy market. We went inside an old shop where they did a lot of illegal things from smoking to drinking to even semi-naked girls hanging around. We were waiting for one of us who entered a room with a girl to come out there till a man came out to meet with us.
“Una dey Ss3 shebi”? He asked us in a friendly tone
“Yes” We all chorused
“Una don get the practical questions wey go come out”? He asked us again. This time, we were quite confused that such a thing existed. We explained to him our ignorance about the matter and asked him to show us the question.
“Na 2000 I dey sell am” He replied. Some of us started hissing and was kind of disappointed about the price. But we deliberated and bargained further for us to lay our hands on the “Expo” of life.
“Come back next week, around 8pm for night or 5am for morning. So that we go fit print am, make police no catch person” He said. Then we agreed on the time to meet and distribute the materials amongst ourselves. Next week came like a flash, and while other were running about and killing lizards and toads for practical rehearsals, I succeeded in wooing a girl in our neighborhood and was having the best week of my life with her. In fact, her parents were rich that she gave me both sex and the money I used to pay for my practicals. She was quite older than me, so I was very safe with her.
“You know why I am giving you this money” She asked me. I laughed so hard that she started laughing too.
“Because you love me na” I responded
“Love what”? she asked with a grin on her face “Its just because you are loyal and you do how I tell you to do” She said beaming with smile. Well, I just laughed over it but I was quite angry inside.
“If you can keep giving me the money, I will always be loyal” I said to her. We had a good laugh and sex before I left home that evening. When I got home, I slept so hard that Daddy was actually wondering if I was among the set of people writing the senior waec too.
“Are you not supposed to be reading?” Daddy asked me as he kicked me on the bed. I heard the question but was too lazy to answer.
“I have been preparing since Ss1 and I am fully prepared now” I said sluggishly.
“Oh God”! My father screamed as he left the room. I knew I already had a back-up plan, so there was no need to fear. I woke up around 4am that morning and prepared for school.
“Where are you going?” My father queried as I was about leaving
“School na” I responded
“By this time” He asked “Are you also part of the examiners, go back inside my friend” He shouted.
“I have to go do a proper revision with some live animals that I caught and also prepare well for the questions” I said confidently. He paused for some minutes and eventually told me to go. I quickly wore my hooded shirt with my school uniform inside as I made my way to the appointed meeting place. When I got there, I hung around a building before other guys started arriving. Our contact came and met with us and handed us a white piece of paper that contained what we needed. We stayed behind and those that needed to smoke, smoked and we started reading what they gave to us.
“How you fit read”? I asked one of the guys that just finished smoking
“Na why we plenty na… after you read, I go collect from your brain” He replied me in a very funny way. I just concentrated and tried reading while the others disturbed badly. Once the coast was clear, we made our way down to the school. We stayed outside till exams started and they called us in and we marched into the hall to write our papers. Believe me, all the questions came out as expected and we had a quiet time in the hall.
“Why is it that the unexpected people are the ones finishing first” Our V.P academic asked
“We reserved our brain for waec” I said as most students burst into laughter. There was a mild noise and I quickly passed the paper to my former girlfriend comfort as I left the hall. Other guys finished and we made our way down to mammy again to book the next subject. Everything went as planned and when I got home and explained to Aunty Vicky my new friend, I was congratulated and also rewarded with good sex. It continued for a while; we didn’t get hold of the materials for English, So I had to do the reading. I finished on time and passed my written answer to another friend where it was passed on to my friends who needed it. The same thing happened in maths. But something was common throughout the exam period; I was always rewarded with good sex from Aunty Vicky. We became friends after I helped her pay her Bus fare when the conductor had no change on him to give her, So we gisted and trekked down to our house. She showed me where she stayed and also told me that she was a student of Enugu State University of Technology.
So most times I went to her single room apartment, she was always on skimpy dresses. Anytime I saw her, I always got erect and I never knew she observed.
“How Old are you”? She asked me. I was actually trying to lie when she reminded me.
“If you are older than 18, nothing for you” She said “But if you are younger, you will get what you want”. I quickly tagged 17 as my age and she gave a huge smile. She came close and sat on my laps with her shown silk gown and started kissing me. I was already erect and without much grammar, she quickly undressed me. I rushed straight to her bra and removed it within split seconds.
“Jezz… who taught you how to unzip a bra that fast”? She asked with a smile
“This isn’t my first time” I said to her with a smile
“Hmmm…” She humed “Oya teach me what you know. I wasn’t scared; I quickly locked the door and escorted her to the bed. I kissed her for a while before going from her neck downwards to her lower body. I positioned her legs apart before sticking my mouth in between her legs. She shouted mildly while I continued. Seconds later, she was already fondling with my hair and dragging. It was becoming more of pain than pleasure for me. I continued till she started speaking in languages I couldn’t understand and was begging me to stand up, I quickly obeyed.
“Don’t be daft, why did you stand up” She asked angrily
“You said I should stand na” I replied innocently.
“Next time, don’t follow my instructions, just do what you are doing” She said while taking my head down again. I continued till some liquid things started coming out between her legs, and she was shouting very much and almost chocked me to death with her legs on my neck. I was lucky to survive after dragging my neck out and breathing very hard.
“Have you started to release”? She asked me
“Release what” I asked her
“Don’t worry” She shouted. She quickly showed me where to bring out a red cover material and showed me how to wear it. It was like a rubber, and I wore it around my thing. She showed me the fastest way to wear it in case I needed it urgently. I wore it and she opened her legs and asked me to put it inside. I obeyed; she was moaning but I wasn’t feeling anything, but I continued till she started bringing out some liquid again and was shouting again. She kept licking my ears with her tongue and so many other things. After we were through, she gave me almost 500naira to buy things why going back. She collected my phone number and promised to call. She called all through the night, saying some sexy things that always got me erect and thinking about her. That was how we started.
Waec came and we finished everything about it, and we waited for Neco. After our last paper, I did some crazy things with comfort. I didn’t spend much time with her because I wasn’t having enough energy that much again. I knew that once I go back home, I will be having another assignment with Aunty Vicky. I needed her money, so I had to obey.
Something remained on my mind, and that was what Ifunanya did to me and my friends. I laughed with her during exams, but I had another plans for her.
“Has someone ever did something to you that blew your mind and make you always remember the person”? I asked Ifunanya one day at school
“Good or Bad”? She asked me back
“Either” I responded
“If it is good, yes But if bad, No” She replied smiling
“I have something for you” I said while smiling at her
“Good or bad”? She asked
“We shall see” I said as I winked at her and walked away…
To Be Continued…
After we finished our exams, we went home and we were going to spend some few weeks at home before we come back for the Neco exam. Everybody was complaining that I was not looking too fat as compared to the amount of food I eat, but it wasn’t my business. I spent most idle time in Aunty Vicky’s house and I enjoyed every minute of it. One thing about me is that I am a fast learner and I was already overshadowing her in bed just that my strength can’t just meet up.
“I need money” I said to Aunty Vicky
“For what”? She replied with a smile
“To get Neco exam answers” I said with boldness. She looked at me quite surprised and gave out a big laugh. Then she gently opened her purse and brought out 5,000 naira and gave to me.
“Make sure you come Saturday evening” She said to me. Well I met her on the agreed date and it was fvcking as usual. She gave me a drink and after drinking, I felt my dicck was standing till the point of pains. She quickly devoured me like a lion to a sheep even though it was very painful and I was already tired, but I needed those money she gave to me real bad. After sex, she gave me another 3000naira and I made way to my house to prepare for my exam that Monday. Did I say prepare? Well, I slept so bad that I even slept in church the next day.
On the exam day, I and my crew members were so “Prepared” that we didn’t even need to read. Others were jumping up and down the school while we sat at the school canteen, drinking soft drinks like big boys. I was sponsoring the drinking so I had a lot to spend. The girls in school were also having some free drinks from me, so we had a mild crowd. Before the exams, we were properly searched but nothing could stop an idea whose time has come.
We entered the hall, and as we did in Waec, we were balling all through. The exams were coming in full force and I and my guys were responding in full force too. Days passed and exams went by but I still had other plans. Most times in the exam hall, I look at Ifunanya and smile, and most definitely she smiles back too.
After few days, I knew it was time to perfect my plans, and I went for it. I had studied everything about the examiner and the examinations and I knew where, when and how everything happens. We had a bad time in our physics exam during the Waec time and I knew how everyone would love to pass physics in the Neco exam.
I quickly photocopied my Neco expo and gave it free to everyone that will be writing the examination with us. The “God bless you” and “Thank you” I got that day would be enough to make any poor man a millionaire.
When we entered the hall, I finished mine so fast because I was with help from above. I quickly rushed to our V.P Academic and showed her my “Expo”
“Jesus Christ” She shouted “Who gave you this”? she said in a low voice while looking around to evade the external examiner
“Sorry Ma, I got it from somewhere that is the reason I want to throw it away” I said to her mildly.
“Just throw it away and go back to your seat” She said while shielding me away from the external invigilator.
“If you know that you are with any foreign material, do well to dispose it before I come to you” The V.P Academic shouted as she gave the announcement to us in the exam hall. Some students who were so scared gave up and threw theirs away while some hardened students retained theirs. I saw Ifunanya standing up and walking to throw hers away but that wasn’t the end. After a while, I saw the external Invigilator slapping a student and asking him to go to the front row and kneel down. He was caught with an expo; I looked well, and behold it was Onyema.
“Fvck” I yelled to myself. Few minutes later, the number of students getting caught were rising to about five people and I needed to add my own candidate.
“Excuse me sir” I shouted to attract the shout of the external invigilator. He heard my voice and started walking towards me. I whispered some words into his ears and he nodded in agreement while moving away.
The external invigilator passed and I knew he had seen it. He walked around like he had no business there but he actually had
“You stand up” While standing, a lot of white papers fell out from under her skirt. He picked it up and picked up her question papers too and crosschecked both of them before giving her a life resounding slap.
“Jesus Christ” She shouted in pains.
“Didn’t your V.P warn all of you to take away foreign materials from the hall”? The external invigilator shouted in anger “And you pretended to take yours away, only for you to hide it under your skirt” He fumed while trying to give her another slap.
“It seems like I will cancel this exam in this school and write a true report about what happened” The man yelled while heading towards his seat angrily. When he got to his seat, the school officials surrounded him and were begging in a friendly way. She was taken to the front row where every other defaulter was, and they were made to pick pin. She was already crying and I was smiling like someone who won a jackpot.
“You are wicked oo…” my seat mate said “So you made them catch her, God will never forgive you” She said in a bitter tone
“God doesn’t answer the prayers of a sinner. Do and give me back my expo before I expose you too” I said to her while smiling. She quickly got back to her senses before keeping her mouth shut. I followed all the activities from that point on so as to make sure my plans went as planned.
The external invigilator was taken to the commandant’s office and only God knows what happened there. After the commandant was through with the man, he came out furious like someone who just had a fight with a little boy and lost. He quickly summoned the students caught in malpractice and they were bundled up in ropes and were taken to the school field under that hot sun.
“Sir, we are an institution that don’t condone exam malpractice and I will show to you what we do to such people” The commandant said the external invigilator. He quickly summoned some junior officers around and they brought another wheelbarrow of kobokos and canes. They were tied both hands and mouth and were kept on the ground of the field like prisoners waiting for execution. I quickly rushed to the canteen and bought a bottle of chilled coke to watch the show.
“Today we will show everyone that Exam Malpractice is a grievous offence in school here and we cant take such from anybody. This will be a lesson to everyone that no matter what happens in the hall, never bring in foreign materials. We have the best teachers in school and you should listen well in class if you want to pass. Say no to Exam Malpractice!” The Commandant echoed.
I remembered these words vividly and it was one of those I couldn’t forget. I saw the look on her face, it was enough to make a blind man cry. She was the only girl among hardened boys. I could hear whispering among both teachers and students
“When she can’t leave boys and face her studies” One of the teachers said in a low tone.
“What about that slim boy, I thought he would be among them” Another teacher said. I knew she was talking about me. I wanted to give out a loud laugh but was careful not to blow my cover. All of a sudden, they assigned a female soldier in school to handle the girl that committed exam malpractice.
Ifunanya was crying even before the cane and I wondered what will happen when the koboko starts coming. I saw tears of real pains coming out of her eyes immediately the soldier started landing the koboko on that smooth back of hers. Blood mixed with water were gushing out. She couldn’t cry out loud and nothing is painful as when you can’t cry out pains loud. It was supposed to be 50 strokes but within the range of 15 to 20 strokes, she had stop moving and was lying still on the ground. That didn’t stop the soldier from making it up to 25 strokes before the first aid team rushed to the scene. They tried blowing air into her mouth and fan her but to no avail. She was carried in a stretcher down to the sick bay, while they focused on the other guys caught. The guys being flogged wasn’t my concern as I followed the first aid team down to the sick bay.
“She isn’t breathing” One of the nurses yelled.
“Breath more into her mouth or press her chest” Another student yelled from the crowd. I wished I could help with the chest pressing but the tears coming from the eyes of one of the old nurses got me back from my sexual fantasies of breast pressing. Her back was not in good shape as it has been battered by several koboko lashes.
“Jesus” One student shouted as they removed her shirt and revealed her blood stained back. That must have attracted attention that we were present in the sick bay and they chased us out. I felt bad and emotional but it was just payback time.
I got home and couldn’t eat; I tried watching some movies but I couldn’t concentrate. I rushed to Aunty Vicky’s house and met her at home. She was shocked at the way I entered her house.
“I am not happy, I almost made them kill a girl at school” I said to her with a sad face
“Oya come and kill me too, I have been waiting for you” She said with a weird face. I was surprised that she took the matter in a sexual way.
“Don’t you understand? Soldiers almost flogged a girl to death” I shouted. That was when she knew I was serious about the whole issue. She asked for explanations and I gave to her.
“I don’t forgive easily” I said with a mean face. “If you hurt me, I will hurt you back in a greater way”
“You are not a good person” She said to me
“Yea, I know. Everyone keeps saying that” I said. She gave me some snack with a bottle of coke, as I drank away in pleasure and pain. Exams continued and Ifunanya was totally absent from school. I tried asking after her, but the answer I kept getting was “I don’t know her whereabouts”. And the truth is that I am scared of going to her neighborhood to look for her. Till we finished the remaining papers, she never surfaced at school again.
The final paper, the valedictory service and the send-forth party came with lots of good expectation. From the all-day dancing, fvcking and madness that came along and the cries of goodbye that rented the air. The party, the madness and the romance are things that can’t be contained in this diary. One thing I know is that, just imagine the most stupid thing that can ever happen in a party or any final day at school, it all happened in my case!
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