Hello, my name is Bush and I am about telling you a story. I am twenty-something years old; which mean I have seen about twenty-something Christmas seasons, but trust me; this would definitely be the first I am about celebrating.
I just got paid a hefty amount to the tune of 60,000 Naira on the 20th of December, and that is exactly what I would use to make my Xmas a memorable one for me and my homeboy Jide. Little wonder why I have been having numerous nightmares – someone almost wanted to steal the money from me in my dream.
“I got robbed!!!” I screamed to my friend Jide with my eyes wide opened. He jerked back at the unbelievable news.
“How on earth did it happen?” He screamed as he held on to the upper part of my shirt. I kept looking at him confused.
“Let’s call the police” He suggested.
“No, I am just telling you the dream I had last night” I explained to him. I saw him breathe a sigh of relief. “Nice one buddy, you almost got me scared,” He said as he quickly dashed to the table in the house, and brought out a piece of paper.
“What’s that for?” I asked him while looking around the whole house searching for nothing.
“We gotta make plans and make sure that this money is utilized in such a way that the money is utilized efficiently to avoid the hullabaloo of mismanagement and financial collapse of any financial ecosystem”
I stood staring at him with my mouth agape. “So what does it mean?” “In brief” I reminded him.
“Let’s draw up a budget,” He said. I nodded my head in approval just before my phone rang.
We quickly went down to business. He brought the pen and paper closer, and I was already with the calculator in front of me. Figures, numbers, and projections were flying around, and we were already sweating real bad. It was a difficult task trying to buy a Range Rover Sports with the money suited for a Camry 2.2 1999 model.
“We good now?” Jide asked. “Yea” I nodded in agreement.
“So we move out tomorrow by 4 pm” Jide reminded me.
Jide left the house and shut the door. I quietly went to the pot beside the drinking water bucket. It clanged empty as soon as I opened it.
“Nonsense” I cussed.
“Can’t I just use part of this money to buy foodstuffs and others?” I asked myself.
“Hell No, I need to show em babes that I am now a working class” I defended strongly on a second thought.
If going to bed hungry that night would help me accomplish my flexing aim tomorrow, then I must sacrifice.
I went to the corner of my flat “bed”. It is so flat that my visitors always mistook it for a mat. I quietly brought out a piece of paper and started writing out the list of possible girls that I nominated to partake in my celebrations.
I needed to show them that I am now a working class, and I just received my first salary. I and Jide planned to spend the money bit by bit till the 25th of December, which would be the grand finale of our spending.
“Christmas isn’t for brokeasses” I screamed!!!
I couldn’t just wait for tomorrow being the 20th of December to come so that I do have a taste of what fun is. I already called Lola, Mary, Tessy, and Laura and informed them about the hookup tomorrow. The plan was to have Tessy attend, but since girls are unreliable, the others would serve as backup. Jide would come single, so as not to strain my financial power.
The alarm rang that morning louder than it ever rang. I guess it was because I barely slept. I couldn’t just wait, and the excitement made me shower with so much force
*Calls upon Calls*
“Hi Mary, this is the first time you are calling me since 3 months. You forgot your pants in my house?” “Don’t worry I will send em to you via courier?” I said and terminated the call immediately.
“Nikky… Nice to hear your voice; you know what, just call me on the 10th of January and I will listen properly” I said and dead went the line. No one would become the gold digger in my life. I already made out plans for the girls I chose.
*Jide bumps into the house prepared*
“You ready to move out boy?” Jide asked me.
“Just give me sometime bro, let me just adjust my hair a lil bit” I said while looking in the mirror and adjusting the curls on my hair. Well, I re-touched it with a relaxer, dye and a gel. I was looking for someone who just came to planet earth for the first time.
“Do you have some cash with you there?” Jide shouted from outside the house. I quickly ran through my torn wallet. “I have just our transport fare,” I said to him when I got out of the house.
“It would be nice if you can withdraw a lil bit of cash and keep for the sake of emergency” He requested. I gave him a stern look and giggled.
“You know your problem buddy?” I asked him “You always think like a poor fellow”
His eyeballs went deep into its socket and his face squeezed up.
“No offence buddy,” I said, “But you should learn to act like you are rich,” I said to him before flagging down a bike, and off we went.